I feel...

I feel sad, there's less than 50 days.
It's inevitable, I know...
But I kinda don't want to get back with the usual lifestyle.
I'm currently gloomy.

Straightener

After school I decided to go to look for FeDex on the really close street that I live on. I saw it Birdseye on the website that it is there, however, every time I go home from school and walk through that place I have never located where FeDex is. So, I decided to do a scavenger hunt for FeDex earlier. Yes I did found it and got all the shipping info I've looked for, I was happy.
On the way walking home I noticed that I have my wallet and inside there, my debitcard with me. Usually I never take my wallet to school because of some securities problems as you all know, I know, even in America it's not safe to leave your belongings in class. I had to take out some money for prom limo in the morning since the bank is located on the way to school. The story is I walk back supposedly wanted to head home but... I thought of something, a demand. I am always someone who has to get her demand whatever it is. If I want it, I'm getting it no matter what. On that store section there's Rite Aid pharmacy which sells a lot of things to do with health, beauty and snacks and Ice cream. About almost 2 months ago I went in there and saw this Remington hair straigthener for only $46.99 on sale, of course. The normal price is about $60ish I believe. I want that straightener so bad but I didn't have the money to afford it, so I decided that I could buy it later. So today my evil angel whispered to get into Rite Aid and get that. So I did went in, and looked around, and found it yay! It's the same brand but there's only one left. I looked at the price and its reduced to $49.99, I thought, 'Oh well, I don't need to buy a straigthener again and don't have to worry to have this curlish straight hair on some random days.' So I took that and I noticed that there's this product that goes with the straightener is on clearance, the price is reduced 75% from normal price. I think it's about $12.99, and I thought, 'I wish the straigthner is $12.99'
So I head up to the cashier to pay for my straigthner, I was about to take a deep breath to waste $49.99 on a straighner in a broke budget. The cashier lady is this chinese woman who barely speaks english, she has a really thick chinese accent for sure. I gave that to her and she does whatever thing she does for me to make a payment. She slides the barcode on the scanner and she said with her thick chinese accent, 'Oke, so total is $13.45 please' and I was confused of course. I am ready with my debitcard to slide and waste $49.99 and the price is only $13.45??? I was shocked compeletely but I figured that I just shut up or else I'll have to pay $49.99 plus tax. So I slide it and waste only $13.45.
I head home and went straight to my room, I opened it and tried it on after I pull out my loosen hair bun. It was pretty good and it didn't burn my hair. As I was about to throw out the box I saved some papers in it and of course, the receipt. I looked at the receipt and found out that the thing is on sale! So thank God my demand makes me want to buy that thing ;)

Skept

Please keep it shut because I'm very skeptical

Peace

I am currently doing a junior thesis about The controversy between John Lennon and the US Govt for my history class. I saw the documentary movie about it ,'The US vs. John Lennon (2006)' and I'm really astonished by what they did, what John Lennon did at his time. They inspire people with no plagiarism at all. I adore people like that, I wish he's not dead now.

And by the way an idea of a British guy dating an Asian lady back there was so engaging. People were so enthusiastic by segregation and color separation. I am just amazed that they could capture the whole image of blending white and yellow declaring peace.

Ti voglio bene

On the right is an image which supposedly portraying meditation. Instead, I was playing around while she's trying to concentrate humming ohm to fly out of the water.

So this is me and my best friend Silvia. The first time I met her I thought she was cold and not friendly, at all. Despite all that I actually thought, 'crap, why am I with this cold girl.' Apparently as the time goes by, we actually find each others comfort zone and be able to determine the status that we are best friends. It's a cheesy saying I know, but somehow it is true. I love her, I will miss her much much when we get back. How she always come to my house everyday and walk to school together. And of course her accent and says, 'Fitra, if I don't pull you, you'll die!' because I was messing around when we crossed the street one day. This the what I want to say to her in her way, "Ti voglio bene Silvia,Mancherò voi ed il vostro accento sveglio. Verrò di sicuro e visitarlo voi ed andrà alla discoteca in Mazzara perché come voi dica, ' ci sviluppiamo in su sullo street' "

-

My background of being a spoiled girl who gets pretty much whatever she wants is here again.
My year's experience pretty much have changed me about 95% of who I really was.
This spoiled little girl now have 4 little siblings.
This girl who sits around watching TV, yells for food is now actually cleaning the toilet.
This girl who had extremely low self-esteem is now speaking up and volunteering.
This girl who despised her nation and kneeling to live in another country is actually realizing,'oh my home is in Jakarta.
This girl who wanted long straight hair and clothes that's in the mainstream is now actually creating an indulgence look carelessly.
This girl who seemed (and yes also) snobby, ignorant and derogate others is now asking people and people always say 'oh I never talk to you but you're really nice'

These images of sentences I see of the before and after portrays how many changes I've made and will make later. I flashed a video in my head when I was 5, I went up to my granpa after he came home from work and asked him to buy me a barbie doll. He got me one and the next day I kept begging for more. Another video flashed when I was maybe 12, I don't know I can't remember. I was asking my mom a raise for my allowance. My mom said no because she thought that I've had enough, maybe more for every single day. I screamed an threw away my phone until parts are scattered all over the place pieces by pieces. I cried loudly and guess what happened? My mom gave me that. And videos came along flying in my brain, remembering how spoiled I was because I get everything I want, and if I don't get it I have to get it whatever it takes, means crying, trash up the house, and etc.

I've always believe that God gives a reason behind everything. Maybe this is why He got me here for my exchange year. I've learned a lot and yes I've changed a lot too. This is not some type of a cheesy bullshit moment but yes it's really true. I don't know yet about my plans after going back. I want to be active and yes I want to travel. I don't want to take my parents money because I've been such a cat here in the US. Yes I'm wishing that I could go spend some money on plane ticket to Italy and stay there for a month in Silvia's house. Also after I did the walk for 'Invisible Children', I want to go to Uganda and help them. I have enough and probably more compare to them. I actually want to do something that will inspire people.

Easter

I'm hunting easter eggs! Okay soo, question...

Does this look fat to you? Or fatter?

Be honest, or you'll get bunny poop!